My Future Self...

Inspired by Alissa's post on things her future at-goal self would do, I decided to sit down and think about things my future at-goal self would be doing. During one of my therapy sessions, Mary asked me to visualize myself at my healthy weight, whatever that may be--I immediately told her that was impossible, how could I visualize something I'd never experienced?

I finally gave in and just tried, but all I could come up with was myself in 2004, the summer before my junior year of college when I took diet pills and weighed 175. I wouldn't exactly consider that healthy, considering I was living off of Phentermine, Diet Coke, Ben & Jerry's and french fries. Oh, and beer... lots of beer.

I've since attempted this exercise a few other times, mostly ending up with some weird jigsawed version of myself, so maybe by writing it out in list form, I can paint a better picture of the person I hope to become when I'm finally out of the weight loss phase of my journey...

• Wake up between 5-5:30, go for a 3-4 mile run and run the entirety. 
• Maintain a proper workout schedule, incorporating running and other cardio and strength training.
• Have a minimal wardrobe made up of clothing that I love, that is easily mixed and matched. 
• Prepare breakfast and lunches and outfits the night before so mornings aren't so rushed and crazy and stressful. 
• Have a (mostly) clutter-free house; be more conscientious about the new items we bring into the house. Encourage gifts of experiences rather than more "stuff" from family and friends. 
• Have a dedicated meal planning day and grocery shopping day. Incorporate 1 new recipe each week. Have several crock-pot meals and "cook once, eat twice" meals in the rotation so I'm not so stressed in the evenings after work.
• Since I've stopped biting my nails, get regular manicures to keep my nails healthy. 
• Be more intentional with the time I have in the mornings/evenings and on the weekends with the kids. Much less TV for them. 
• Be more intentional with the time I have to myself after the kids are in bed. Don't just veg out until I pass out on the couch.
• Love all my wobbly bits, and have the confidence to wear shorts during these God-forsaken New Orleans summers.
• Be warm and open with everyone I meet; be vulnerable enough to open myself up to making the first moves toward new friendship. 
• Sugar is a sometimes food, no longer a daily food. Get to the store/farmer's market often enough to have fresh produce on hand always.
• Be at peace with myself and the person I've become.

Obviously, not everything is weight-related, but I think it all goes hand-in-hand. I know that when I'm on track and feeling good, I'm more inclined to follow through on my intentions. It might take time, but I WILL get there. I already see several things that I can start working on now in order to make this vision a reality, and I know the only thing holding me back is me. So now I'm going to print out this list and put it in a prominent place and get to work!